Whether a husband died of long-term cancer or a child unexpectedly died in a traffic collision, the death of a loved one is often the hardest thing that any of us ever have to deal with. There may be numbness at first, or shock, and the sadness may ease at times, but the loss is almost always felt forever in waves of sadness and despair. In this article, we offer some advice on how to cope with loss in the coming days, weeks, months, and years.
Dealing with Condolences
After the death of a spouse, child, or other loved one, there will be condolences, cards, kind words, and questions about if you are alright—possibly more than what one would prefer. This can wear grieving people down. People who ask are you alright? or how are you doing? usually do not know what else to say. After all, our society is lacking when it comes to talking about and dealing with death, compared with many other cultures. Often the people who ask these questions hope that you will reply with fine or I’m doing okay so that they can get on with their day without feeling too troubled. In fact, when the grieving person is not doing okay, s/he is probably fine; it’s just the grieving process that causes that feeling of not being okay. In times of serious grief, seeking the people who you are truly closest to will help, and avoiding trivial, tiresome small talk may be the best option.
It is a prerogative to tell the family members not to post on social media about the death until the one closest to the deceased feels it is the right time. Not everyone in the world needs to immediately know the sad news that the family is just starting to come to terms with. There may be a time for social media postings, which can allow others less close to the deceased to share their stories and memories of the deceased, but it should be left up to the one closest to the deceased to say when the time for social media posts is appropriate. Social media also opens the door for unwanted comments and messages, as well as the oddity of mere acquaintances of the deceased to loudly profess their grief for a person they were not that close with. According to Psychology Today, this may be done to get attention. It is within the right of the person closest to the deceased to tell them to stop.
Dealing With Rude or Inappropriate People
Unfortunately, some people say inappropriate things, ask rude questions, or make odd remarks that are entirely unappreciated, such as Well, at least he died doing what he loved, as if this is any true consolation. It is okay to simply walk away from people when they make inappropriate comments like this, to tell them off, or to step out to be alone during a funeral or memorial service when conversations like these take place.
Call Maryland Probate Attorney Tara K. Frame
Dealing with a loved one’s Last Will and Testament, which must go through probate, is likely the last thing on the family’s mind. Leaning on an attorney like Tara Frame is so helpful. Call the Maryland probate attorneys of Frame & Frame today at 410-255-0373 to schedule your consultation today.